About a week ago I found out that the governor had granted my request for a pardon. I had thought about what I might say if the day ever came, and now, I’m not sure what to say, other than “Thank you.” Thank you, God. Thank you, Governor Stitt. And there’s so many other people to thank, the members of the Pardon and Parole Board, my family, especially my children and my parents, my attorney, Michael Risely, my pastor, all those who have prayed for me, and for my kids over the last almost 17 years, and so many more people who took a chance on me and believed in me.
Even as I find myself thinking about dreams that I dared not even hope for, it still doesn’t quite seem real. I keep checking to make it’s real. And I’m brought to tears.
I think I have a tiny bit more understanding of what it means to be forgiven by God. The most emotional and important part of the certificate of pardon, for me, is the sentence that ends with the phrase, “…do hereby grant Carl D. Hamman a full pardon to restore unto him all the rights of citizenship.” If God were to hand us a certificate of pardon, it might read, “…do hereby grant Carl D. Hamman a full pardon to restore unto him all the rights of citizenship, and a son.” In both cases, I have an obligation to strive to be a good citizen. God commands it.
There are a few things that had to take place before I could receive a pardon. First, of course, is I had to be convicted. I had to serve my sentence. I had to accept my guilt. I also had to not commit any other crimes, both while completing my sentence, and after my sentence was complete. Finally, I had to ask for a pardon, following the proscribed procedure. Then wait.
Of course God does not make us wait for His pardon. The Holy Spirit convicts us. But, He doesn’t require that we first serve our sentence. Jesus Christ already served our sentence on the cross. But, we do have to accept our guilt, and confess our sins, and repent. God grants immediate forgiveness, without making us prove ourselves first. By the way, true repentance means we stop sinning.
As I contemplate what will I do with my new life, post pardon, I am reminded that we all have to answer that same question with God. What will I do with my new life in Christ?
What will you do with yours? Are you ready to receive your pardon?
Tag: thank you
God knows my name is Carl, and I am His child. He is more than able to use me.
First, thank you for your prayers. I’m not really big on sharing my feelings, but I also needed to let some things out. This seemed like a fairly healthy way to release it all. I actually am often guilty of stuffing my feelings and pain. The problem with that is that the things that get stuffed eventually build up pressure until it all just explodes out, often hurting those we love, as well as other innocent bystanders. Not to mention the damage done to the one who does the stuffing. By God’s grace, that is not who I am any more.
The title is in reference to the three songs that appear at the end. When I wrote my prayer request I was feeling defeated. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a loser. It didn’t help that satan, through others, and even in my own mind, was reminding me of all my failures. I was beginning to believe the names he was giving me: loser, moron, bad father, felon, defeated, fat, worthless, and the list goes on. Some of you reading this may be experiencing this same problem right now. The names that satan is trying to call you by, and the tactics he is using may be different. But his end goal is the same; to make you believe that God doesn’t really want you, that you are unworthy of God’s love. But, the thing is those are lies.
The first verse many of us ever memorized tells us just how much God loves us. John 3:16 tells us that God’s love for us is so great that he gave up His only Son in order to save us. In spite of all we have done to push Him away, He still loves us. He still wants a relationship with us. To be brutally honest, there is nothing any of us can do to be worthy of the love and forgiveness God has offered us. But because of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, and His resurrection when we accept Him as Savior and Lord all of those things we once were guilty of are wiped away. I know many may have heard this before, and it may be a bit cliché, but now when satan brings up our past faults and sins, instead of letting him remind us of our past, remind him of his future.
Because of God’s amazing love and mercy I don’t have to accept the false names satan wants to call me by. I don’t have to accept the false labels that others may try to force upon me. God has used the following songs to speak to me this weekend, and to remind me of my worth in His eyes. The first song listed kept playing over in my mind after I posted my prayer request Thursday night; especially the chorus and the second verse.
The last two songs were sung in the church service that I attended Sunday. They also fit perfectly with the pastor’s sermon. His sermon was based on John 6, the feeding of the five thousand. Here were his main points: 1) NOTHING and NO ONE is inadequate in the hands of Jesus. 2) Jesus often uses UNLIKELY sources to perform miracles. 3) NEVER waste a miracle. The pastor also asked a few questions to think about. what if the little boy had been a typical kid and been selfish? How many miracles are unperformed because we are selfish? And what happened to the leftovers?
I have a fourth question: What if Andrew had been the typical adult, and been already totally convinced that the little boy had nothing to offer? Just something to ponder next time we’re tempted to judge someone else as unworthy or as having nothing to offer.
By the way: Hi. My name is Carl. I’m a Child of God, and He is more than able to accomplish His will in me and through me. And guess what else: He actually knows my name.
Hello My Name Is (by Matthew West)
Chorus: Hello, my name is child of the one true King I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, and I have been set free “Amazing Grace” is the song I sing Hello, my name is child of the one true King
Verse 2: I am no longer defined By all the wreckage behind. The one who makes all things new Has proven it’s true Just take a look at my life
He Is Able (by Henry Smith)
He is able, more than able To accomplish what concerns me today. He is able, more than able To handle anything that come my way. He is able, more than able To do much more than I could ever dream, He is able, more than able To make me what He wants me to be.
He Knows My Name (by Tommy Walker)
Verse 1:
I have a maker he formed my heart,
before even time began
My life was in his hands
Chorus:
He knows my name He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call
Verse 2:
I have a father, he calls me his own
He’ll never leave me,
No matter where I go