Tag: respect

I thought marriage was suppose to be permanent

/ CD Hamman / Leave a comment

I was discussing this idea of marriage being a permanent commitment the other day when I had a thought. Ephesians 5:21-33 came to mind.

In this passage, we find instructions to husbands and wives what it takes for a marriage to work. The key appears to be found in the word “submit.” Verse 21 kicks off this passage with the command to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Bottom line: It takes both people submitting to each other and to God.

I’ll bet you’re thinking that there is no way I am going to bow down and submit to anyone. But please hear me out. Also, please read the passage for yourself in its entirety.

Back to this word, submit. Most people, especially men, are very familiar with verses 22 and 23, where wives are told to submit to their husbands, and the husband is the head of the wife. But, men, did you actually read all of those two verses? Wives are told to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. And that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.

Now, a little further on, we see what all this really means. Guys, are you truly willing to love your wife as Christ loved the church? Are you willing to give up your life for her? You see, gentleman, you need to give your wife a reason to trust you enough that she will feel safe submitting to you.

Wives, can I ask, are you respecting your husband? Do you behave in a way that helps them to trust you so much that they are encouraged and willing to love you as Christ loved the church? Do you encourage him? Do you pray for him?

So we are back to this idea of submitting to each other. What exactly does this mean? Well, I’m glad you asked, because I have a few ideas. Pray for each other, and pray with each other. Communicate. This means talking to each other. Work together to come to solutions to problems. Be faithful. Lift each other up. Look for opportunities to show love. Encourage each other. Make your home a safe and loving environment.

Submitting to each other does NOT mean accepting abusive behaviors. Abuse, of any kind, should never be tolerated or accepted. The same goes for unfaithfulness. These are unacceptable behaviors. They have no place in any relationship. And they definitely have no place among God’s people. Nowhere in scripture do I find a command to remain in such situations.

Finally, in verse 33, we read that each man must LOVE his wife, and the wife must respect her husband. So give each other a reason to love and respect each other.

Bottom line: It takes both people submitting to each other and to God.

The Christian’s Relationship to Government

/ CD Hamman / Leave a comment

A society without government is anarchy. There is no law, everyone is free to do as he or she sees fit. In such a society no one is safe. The stronger are free to take what they want from the weaker. If you have something that I want, I am free to take it from you. Of course you are free to try to prevent me from taking it, but, the golden rule in such a society is do unto others before they do unto you. So, God, in His wisdom, set up a system of authority. The family unit is the most basic system of authority. Of course societies are made up of many family units. And whether by geography, ethnicity, or beliefs, these family units have become grouped into clans, people groups, and eventually nations. And every step of the way a system of authority and rule has been set up.

We frequently hear people demanding their rights. And, especially here in the United States, we are a nation that has prided itself on individual rights. To be sure, our nation has committed it’s share of sins throughout our history, and those should be acknowledged, repented of, and lessons learned. And then we look to the future.

In his address to congress on January 8, 1790, President George Washington said “Knowledge is in every Country the surest basis of public happiness. In one, in which the measures of Government recieve (sic) their impression so immediately from the sense of the Community as in our’s, it is proportionably essential. To the security of a free Constitution it contributes in various ways: By convincing those, who are entrusted with the public administration, that every valuable end of Government is best answered by the enlightened confidence of the people: And by teaching the people themselves to know and to value their own rights; to discern and provide against invasions of them; to distinguish between oppression and the necessary exercise of lawful authority; between burthens proceeding from a disregard to their convenience and those resulting from the inevitable exigencies of Society; to discriminate the spirit of liberty from that of licentiousness, cherishing the first, avoiding the last, and uniting a speedy, but temperate vigilence against encroachments, with an inviolable respect to the laws.” -George Washington, to the United States Senate and House of Representative, 8 January 1790 (https://founders.archives.gov/docu…/Washington/05-04-02-0361)

I want to focus on our relationship to government. I think that this can be applied no matter where you live, but of course, my only real experience is living here, in the United States. I keep seeing, and hearing people demand their rights. We have people who take a camera, or their phone, and they literally go looking for a fight with government officials. They may call themselves First Amendment, or Second Amendment, Auditors. They go out with the intent to draw attention to themselves, and demand their right to do say what they want, or to carry any firearm how they want and where they want. And then they cry “That’s not fair” when they are targeted as being suspicious. But then they will also probably be the first ones who will wonder how something bad happened, why someone didn’t say anything when someone else actually commits a heinous crime. Of course this happens with many political and social issues. People are so focused on their rights, that they have forgotten about their own duty to be responsible. We are witnessing in our society an attitude of I want my rights, but I don’t care about my responsibilities.
The Bottom Line: Demanding the free exercise of our rights also demands that we exercise our responsibilities.

Romans 13:1-7 (NLT)
Respect for Authority
Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience. Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.

We have a duty to submit to government authority
It seems that it has become common today to disrespect authority. We see it far too often: people who refuse to obey anyone in authority. Children who disrespect teachers, adults who refuse to respect government, government officials who refuse to respect the law. If you want examples, just watch the evening news. Or check out some of the videos you find on facebook, and youtube. But this is certainly not how we, who proclaim to be followers of Jesus Christ, are to behave. Indeed, Paul admonishes us, in no uncertain terms to submit to government authority. In fact, by refusing to be obedient to authority, we are in fact refusing to obey God. Paul makes this quite clear in verse 2. Rebelling against authority is rebelling against God.

Now please, do not misunderstand me. There certainly is nothing wrong with the people holding their government officials accountable. But we are responsible to do so in a way that honors God.

Government officials are to be God’s servants for the good of those governed
This point is directed at government officials, as well as to “we the people.” We have a system of government in order to avoid the lawlessness of anarchy. Every nation has a government that is in place to protect their citizens, and all who reside within their borders, from lawlessness. If I am doing what is right, and behaving in a manner that does not harm others, or my country, then I can reasonably expect that, for the most part, the government will not bother me.
But, if I choose to behave in a manner that may be harmful to others, if I decide to ignore the law, then I can reasonably expect to be punished. It is the government’s job to punish those who do evil. So we are commanded to be obedient, not simply to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clean conscience.

Government officials deserve their pay
We hate to pay taxes, don’t we. In fact some people hate paying taxes so much that they make it their mission to find ways to cheat the government. We get our first job, and we’re excited for that first check, and when we get it, right away we realize that something isn’t right. Some of our money is missing. And as we examine or check stub closely, we see that some of our money has gone to the state, and the federal government got its cut too. In some places, the city gets a share directly out of your paycheck. Well, don’t government officials deserve to be paid for their work, too. Now look, this isn’t about debating how much we should be paying in taxes; I am simply pointing out, as Paul does, in verses 6 and 7, that government workers deserve to be compensated for their work.

However, Paul isn’t referring only to paying our taxes and fees. He goes a step further, and also tells us that we are responsible to pay honor and respect to those who are in authority. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Quick, someone needs to point this verse out to many of our government leaders.” And, I agree with you. So many of them seem to be more focused on tearing down each other, and anyone who doesn’t agree with them, that they are not getting anything accomplished. But, before I go there, I need to ask you, what is YOUR attitude toward those in government positions? Wait; I need to ask myself that same question: “What is MY attitude toward our government leaders, and workers?” Do I show respect to those in authority. Do I behave in a way that, if they are not already a Christ follower, would make them want to be one, or at least gives them reason to respect me? Or am I a Christian in name only?

Maybe, just maybe, there is a reason that our government, and our society, seems to be so out of control. When was the last time that you complained about government workers, and government leaders. Now, when was the last time that you prayed for them? Just maybe, we bear some of the responsibility for some of the problems. Lets look at 1 Timothy for just a minute.

N1 Timothy 2:1-3 (NLT)
Instructions about Worship
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior,

We are to pray for our government officials
I like how the NLT titles this section: Instructions about worship. Too often, we think of worship as what we are doing right now. It’s just for Sunday morning. We come to church, sing a few songs, say a prayer or two, and listen to a preacher say something that is hopefully inspirational. And if we are really lucky, the message lets us feel good about ourselves. But that is not worship.

Worship is not just about going to church, and playing a part. Worship is a lifestyle. And a part of that lifestyle is praying for others. Interceding, speaking with God, on their behalf, including government workers, and officials; maybe ESPECIALLY, them. Why? So that we can live peaceful lives, that display godliness, and dignity. I love the way the NIV says it best. Instead of dignity it uses the word holiness. We pray for others, and especially our government so that we can live lives that are marked by godliness, and HOLINESS.

Bottom Line: We do have rights, however, being free to exercise those rights demands that we recognize, and honor, our responsibilities.

Train up a child

/ CD Hamman / Leave a comment

Imagine my surprise, and horror, when I logged into my Facebook account and saw a picture of my teenage daughter giving the middle finger. I immediately posted a comment that she has not been taught to behave that way. Immediately after posting my comment a horrendous thought went through my mind: what if she had been taught to behave that way? Even worse, what if I am the one who taught her that?

Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train our children in the way they should go, and when they are old they won’t depart from it. The New Living Translation puts it this way: “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”(NLTse)

This verse has been repeating itself in my head non-stop for nearly 16 hours now. I mention this because, as much as it pains me to admit, it is likely that I taught my daughter to behave that way. All of my children have learned some atrocious behaviors from me. Yes, I taught my children the Bible stories, and all the Sunday school songs. I tried to make sure they were raised in church. But that wasn’t enough.

Where did I go wrong? The answer to that question lies not in what I told them, but what I showed them. There was a time, when my children were younger, that I frequently allowed my emotions to rule my actions, and my words. I’m embarrassed to admit that, at one time, I frequently used obscene hand gestures. You cut me off? No problem, I’d just “flip the bird.” And I did this without even thinking about it. Some of the words, and thoughts that use to come out of my mouth were horrible. I am almost 45 years old, and if I still talked like that and my mother heard it, she would proceed to vigorously wash my mouth out with soap. And she would probably still smack my hand if I flipped the bird, or made some other obscene gesture.

Now in my case, my parents did not teach me to use those gestures or words. I learned it at school from the other kids. I recall the first time I used a vulgar word. I had heard a kindergarten friend use that same word as we were walking home from school. However, when I used the word immediately after she did she said she was going to tell on me. I didn’t even know it was a bad word. I ran all the way home, locked the door and begged my mother not to open it, when the little girl knocked. Funny thing, my friend was a preacher’s kid too. And her parents were friends with my parents, so I think I can safely say that she didn’t learn that word from her parents either. I also recall that upon hearing what I had said my mom asked me where I had learned that word. She then asked if I had heard her or my dad use that word and I hadn’t. Up until that day, I hadn’t heard words like that.

Knowing that our children are exposed to these behaviors, and words and attitudes makes it even more imperative that we as parents not simply tell them how to behave, but we must also set the example. The “do as I say, not as I do” mentality is simply not the proper way to teach our children. If we are to follow the verse to train our children in the way they should go, then a large part of that training must include us behaving in the way that we expect our children to behave.

Do you want your children to respect others? Then you must be respectful toward others.
Do you want your daughters, and sons, to dress modestly? Then dress yourself appropriately.
Do you want your children to clean up after themselves, and help with the dishes? Then pick up after yourself, and show them how to do the dishes.
Do you want your children to respect you and your spouse? Then you and your spouse need to respect each other, as well as your children.
Do you want your children to learn to trust God? Then you must trust God.
We set the example. And our example for living lives that are pleasing to God is Christ.

Sometimes I wonder if the concept is too simple for us to grasp. It’s not enough to simply tell our children how to behave. We must show them how to behave. If we don’t, then we are not completing the task. If we simply tell our children how to behave, or what to do or not do, without following our own instructions, then we have failed in our mission. Our children, and their souls are too precious, and too important to only do a halfway job.

I pray that my changes didn’t come about too late for my children to benefit. I also pray that they really give themselves fully to God. Which brings me to one last important part of parenting. Our children also need to see us praying.