Warning: this post contains whining and griping. But I promise to end with prayer.

I didn’t expect the training and truck driving to be easy. But I also didn’t expect some of the things I have seen, heard, and been told.

Maybe if it was just these few things I wouldn’t feel so frustrated. But added in with some things I have recently discovered about myself it all feels overwhelming at times.

First, I’m much more fearful of bridges in the truck. I’ve always had a problem with heights, but now I can actually see over the bridge, and though the view is often beautiful and breathtaking, I have an acute fear of falling. And the curved bridges, where the roads are banked, make it worse, because I can actually feel my truck lean. But I’m dealing with bridges.

The second problem for me is I have discovered I that I am extremely claustrophobic. Which is not a good thing when you’re trying to sleep in a bunk that has less space than a coffin. I am managing to get just enough sleep to be safe. But I don’t want to continue like this for long. I know that when I do get my own truck I’ll have more space. Until then, I’m praying my way through it. (Update 6/7/14 – still claustrophobic, but getting better at sleeping, at least a tiny bit longer)

I am getting better at driving, and gaining confidence. But, I miss my home and my friends, my family, and my church. But, I’m holding fast to my goal, and reasons for this change of lifestyle. That is to have the resources to answer my call to ministry and be able to complete the courses that are necessary. Of course there is also a selfish reason, I want to be able to see all my children more often, which isn’t easy when they are on opposite sides of the country.

I said I was ending with prayer. So here is my prayer for the next several weeks: